Welcome to the Dark Side of Nursing Humor!
There isn't a nurse that I know of that doesn't LOVE nurse memes, gifs, funny quotes... you name it! Sometimes we all just need a little break to laugh out loud, or at least blow air out our noses, and to not take EVERYTHING so seriously.
A lot of this need comes from dealing with the worst of the worst case scenarios, difficult patients, gross situations, and just plain STRESS! Through my years in nursing, I have developed -maybe a little unhealthy- coping mechanisms to help get me through those tough times working the floor.
If nothing else, I can share a laugh with some of my colleagues because sometimes... you can't make this stuff up!
12hr shifts are horrendously long and if you work on a busy hospital unit you may not get many chances to sit down except when you're charting. That first moment you get off your feet is pure bliss!
Do as I say, not as I do!
No one will care more about your poop than your nurse. Congratulations, you pooped today.
Labor nurses can "hold a leg" like no other... even a leg that's completely dead weight from an epidural! It takes a nurse!
Shout out to labor nurses! Ever get a chance to leave your patients room for a quick snack only to look up and see a massive decel on central monitoring? Break times over!
Do you really want to know? Probably not, so don't ask... and I won't tell. Trust us, it's safer for you this way.
Any labor nurse will tell you the presence of a birth plan will increase your chances of a cesarean delivery by 500%. Leave it at home and trust your nurses ♥
So... not cool!
Check out my post: Going Above & Beyond, Gross Confessions of a Nurse for more on this one!
It's not against policy, it's just a little weird. But, hey, you do you.
"What'd I miss?"
There's always someone who is just starting their diet.
Working Fridays, Saturdays, & holidays? Better get used to girls night out on Monday and Tuesdays.
How 'bout that?
Hey - you did your time and now it's time to leave. There's no shame in that, so clock out and DON'T LOOK BACK!
It's nearing the end of your shift, there are no more predrawn flushes left in the medroom but you have a bunch of IV meds to give... what's a nurse gotta do to get a flush around here?!
Happens All. The. Time. A stuffy nose is not an emergency! Do us all a favor and call an uber if you don't have a ride.
Why does it feel like it takes forever to receive a med from the pharmacy?! Have you ever passed the morning meds with the afternoon med pass because it took so long? Yeah, that happens. #thingsimnotproudof
If I'm being honest. #tellmehowyoureallyfeel
Night shift is great, don't let anyone tell you different! Although you do tend to lose track of the days, months, and years from time to time.
A day in the OR will end up as a bad hair day... get used to it!
I'm not saying it WON'T happen, but inductions are hard to go unmedicated... like Yoda said, "'Do' or 'do not', there is no 'try'"
When you're short staffed you appreciate all the help you can get, but sometimes having a float nurse can be a little difficult when they don't know the specialty.
You thought your assignment was bad then... how about after this train wreck admission? Thank you, charge nurse! --Not!
Every nurse knows the C-Diff smell... just place some vicks vapo rub under the nostril for those extra pungent smells.
Like riding a bike that's on fire, that easy.
There's always that ONE NURSE that feels like she always gets the worst assignment.
